My Rose

As I was rocking Isla this afternoon I thought about words my B put in an anniversary card last week. He said that sometimes he needs to remind himself that this perfect life is 'ours.'  The impact those words had on me reminded me to stay in the moment. This time in our life may be hectic and sometimes even messy (hello, diaper #10) but when we look back we will shine a spotlight on this time...these beautiful days when Isla is new, learning and growing. When we talk about growing our family and our plans....the perfect house, the perfect careers, the perfect friends & neighbors.

I say "perfect" meaning imperfectly perfect. If there's one thing I've learned in marriage and motherhood it's that perfect is made up of imperfect pieces.... the moments when things are falling apart but you realize, "this is real life".... these are the moments I will one day look back on and cherish.

.....The gigantic mess my kid made or the time she toppled over only to pick herself back up....

.....The slow and soothing times in her nursery rocker with the room bathed in blue (from those lovely aqua velvet curtains) and that little tuft of baby hair at the nape of her neck....

.....The sweet smell of her new skin and warmth of that little nook between her ear and shoulder

These are the moments I will hold in my hand, slip in my pocket and savor later. 

There are two songs I sing to Isla during our nap and bedtime routine. One is The Rose which  you may remember Bette Midler sang. In some wonderful twist of cosmic goodness this song was the first that came to me when Isla was brand new and I searched my brain for songs with lyrics I remembered.

When we were kids my Sister, Mindy loved books on tape (Heidi was her favorite) and her most favorite tape was Bette Midler  (that's right, Tape- it was the early 90's!) From my room I would hear all of Bette's tunes and remember clearly the words to The Rose as Bette would croon through both of our bedrooms. I knew that as my Mindy was nodding off in her room with those plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling I was doing the same in mine...with my glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. There was always something very comforting about that time in my life. If those moments were put to music they would be sang by the timeless Bette and her Rose. 

So now, as I sing my own version of Bette's classic to my sweet sleepy girl I'm reminded to stay in the moment..... Put down my iPhone....stop stressing about my editing or how I didn't look up what I "should" be doing with Isla this month.... Stop berating myself about going to bed earlier or having that 2nd americano yesterday....

just, be. Such a little word, such a big lesson.

Just "be" with her..... and Brandon.... Just be in these moments.

And if I can do that.....life really will be the definition of perfect.