Today was long. Starting with a 3:20 wake-up from Isla who had nothing wrong with her other than the fact that she was awake. By the time she finally went down at 4:00am I was exhausted and not feeling perfectly healthy. As I chugged a glass of water with a wellness vitamin and vitamin C I prayed that she didn't wake up Brandon so I could get back to sleep quickly. I am unfortunately the lightest sleeper on the planet and when he's up catching up on lost zzzz's is out of the question. Thankfully he didn't wake up so I happily jumped back in bed and snoozed my way into the oddest dream/nightmare combination. That stupid dream has haunted me all day. I hate those!
Isla woke up at 7:20- not ideal with a 45 minute wake-up call but it could have been worse! All morning she drove me crazy. Like CRAZY. Somedays she is super chill and fun to hang out with in the morning and somedays she is just full blown energy as soon as I pull her out of bed. I always know the latter when she runs off my lap if I try to sit with her when she first gets up. This morning was one of those..... She was pure destruction from the moment she woke up. She ran around the living room throwing things out of her way, clearing shelves and chattering to herself. I brewed a huge pot of coffee and tried to concentrate on Savannah Guthrie's baby bump on the Today Show. She's going to be the cutest prego lady!
Then I decided it would help Isla out and hopefully save my sanity to go to Costco. I know....I know what you're thinking...why, WHY would you torture yourself in Costco with a 15 month old S?! Yah, I know. I swore after the last time that I would never do it again but I had a very concise plan. A list. No browsing. No dilly-dallying. Get in and get out. And that's what we did and for the most part Isla was a gem (until she tried to swan dive out of the cart in line --- but that's another story).
I successfully unloaded Isla and our entire lot of Costco groceries into the condo. Serious accomplishment. Fed her lunch and she went down for a nap pretty seamlessly.
Win!
I was able to completely catch up on my editing---tons of pics to come and check my personal blog for all the wedding and weekend pics! Isla slept 30 mins- got up for 5 mins and went back down for another hour. Total WIN!
When she got up she was in a super happy and in a fun mood. I LOVE those. I popped her straight into her 'adventure shoes' (i.e.: Hawaii Keens!), strapped her in the stroller and we were off to do errands and go to the park. I decided if she needed to burn off energy I'd let her loose in the biggest grass field I could walk to. We strolled and I told her what everything she pointed to was. We splurged on a mocha and a macaroon for B&I and headed to the park. As soon as we got there we saw a huge bald eagle being chased by crows. This is real. Crows really are the peskiest menaces on this planet--they can even intimidate the nation's most prized bird of prey. Then we strolled around and I decided to let my crazy toddler out of her stroller to run loose. Now please know- there is always a 50/50 chance this could end in disaster by means of a toddler tantrum.
As soon as I let her out and explained that she was free to explore. She headed up a hill into a muddy grass patch---my blood pressure sky rocketed but I just locked up my objections and injected my mocha. I reminded myself--she's learning something. There is something very freakin' valuable being taught by stomping through that muddy, disgusting patch of dog pee laden sod. Yes there is. Then we played on some faux rocks which is Kirkland's idea of a kid toy that's not an eye sore. She got high-centered multiple times and had to be rescued. It's here I should insert a confession that I did watch her get stuck on one occasion but I was too busy gossiping with my good pal, L to run over immediately and free her. Thankfully I found out--she knew the solution herself and got it all worked out on her own without splitting her pants. yay Isla.
Win!
When I got her back on the path to keep walking she kept digging around in the stroller to locate my wallet and cell phone. By the 4th time we had a little chat about how she needed to make me look like a good Mom and go play in nature--not on my cell phone! I was trying to socialize her with grass, dirt and sticks--all she wanted was my iPhone. Typical! Thankfully she obliged.
I mean doesn't this shot make her look like Heidi? All I need to do is to photoshop the Swiss Alps behind her and stick a bucket of goats milk in her little paw. Perfection!
Thanks for making me look good Isla!
When she was done, she was determined to walk with a handful of dandelions, 1 small branch with pine cones still attached and she had 3 twigs in her hair. She looked like the last child in the woods and I was feeling pretty successful. Mom for the nature WIN!
Thanks for making me look good Isla!
When she was done, she was determined to walk with a handful of dandelions, 1 small branch with pine cones still attached and she had 3 twigs in her hair. She looked like the last child in the woods and I was feeling pretty successful. Mom for the nature WIN!
We made it home in time for me to stress about getting more veggies in her diet. I conceded and whipped up a veggie sandwich which she picked apart--Fail :( But she redeemed my Toddler nutritional failure by chugging a smoothie packed full of kale/chard and spinach. Once again--Mom WIN!
By the end of dinner and the stampede toward bedtime she decided throwing her dinner plate on the ground was a really great plan...followed quickly by her water cup which I dodged while picking up her plate. Then she proceeded to terrorize me while I cut veggies for our dinner. Thanks for that Isla.
Thankfully at about the time I was losing.my.effing.mind Brandon walked in the door. Dad saves the day!!!! .... and B seeing Isla before bed led to my most favorite shot of the day. Isn't it the sweetest? (All the guys in the wedding wore those socks :)
Win!
Before bed Isla took a perfect bath and headed straight to get her bottle and bath. Right about the time I was patting myself on the back for my supreme Mom skills Isla started screaming in her crib. I looked down and I had 2 pans on the stove and 2 in the oven. I checked on her and then had to leave her to cry in her crib. How do single parents do it all?!! That's all I could think of. I had to yell at my Husband over text, cook dinner, listen to my baby cry and pop a couple more vitamins because guess who was feeling that pesky head cold coming on again.....yep....This girl.
I Win, I Lose.
I rock at this Mom thing. I'm totally failing at this Mom thing.
Isn't that just the stuff our days are made of?
It has taken months for me to allow myself to make mistakes with Isla and not feel total guilt. I am still learning to own it and most importantly let it go. At the end of the day I am doing my best (or at least attempting to). As I told my Sister last week during a much needed Happy Hour, 'this wouldn't be a job if there weren't really hard days' and a lot of 'losses' along the way. Isn't that the damned truth.
xoxo.
S
THESE are the days of our lives ;)
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