This project was a blessing....as I assumed it would be. I hope we do it again.
Seattle:
Miami:
and just like that....Good-bye friends (courtesy of sweet Grace). Until next time.
xoxo.
S
Friday, May 31, 2013
Day 31: Mamas Across Miles
On this last day of Mamas Across Miles I must thank my East Coast Soul Mate, Ashli and her sweet Daughter, Grace. It was such a joy to see your photos come across every day. I looked forward to them and felt like I got to witness a little of your day--be there with you in spirit, as always. It made me miss you just a bit less.
This project was a blessing....as I assumed it would be. I hope we do it again.
Seattle:
Miami:
This project was a blessing....as I assumed it would be. I hope we do it again.
Seattle:
Miami:
Mama Tidbits #2
Yesterday I told B....I now understand why some animals eat their babies.
I remember when I was a kid and my Sister's hamster ate some of her babies. We were horrified and to be honest I still am horrified. I have no plan to ever allow Isla to have a hamster.
Now..... Daily, I admit to wanting to munch on Isla's pudgy feet or eat her cheeks. My heart is literally bursting with so much overwhelming syrupy love for her I want to eat her all up. all mine.
B says, it's the not the same thing. Apparently something to do with "animal survival instinct"
I tell him "good thing for Isla."
:)
Mama Tidbits.
I just went in and laid my hand on Isla's chest as she slept in the dark....just as I do every night, just to make sure she's still breathing. I know everything's fine but this one little moment when I sync our breaths together calms me. I always do it right before bed, always sigh out with her breath, say "watch over her" into the darkness, look down to tell her 'I love you' and feel ever so grateful before getting into bed.
I love this sweet moment between us. No matter how busy our day is I know this one moment is silent and is ours.
xo.
S
I love this sweet moment between us. No matter how busy our day is I know this one moment is silent and is ours.
xo.
S
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
MomGenius : Nursing Beads
Here's the deal with nursing beads....you don't really need them.
They aren't an absolute necessity but they do make you more sane....and anything keeping me sane these days is worth the money! By the 3month mark Isla loved to get distracted while nursing and when I put the boob away she got mad. Enter the nursing beads solution.
My BFF bought me this pair from etsy for Christmas and they've come in very handy. They just give your little one something interesting to play with while they're eating so they can stay focused. They also work when you're out and about to keep baby interested when they're being carried around. They look cute too!
I love seeing other mamas wearing their Nursing Beads or Chew necklace. It's like we're part of a secret club....with a slight head nod and understanding smile we have acknowledged a fellow member :)
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
The Image of Beautiful
This post has been especially hard to write. I've started it several times and every time my chest gets kind of heavy and I leave it unfinished. It is that heavy feeling that propels me to finish and post it tonight. There's something empowering about admitting your insecurities to those you don't know are reading. I think my goal in posting this is finding answers to make me a better Mom and role model to Isla.
_______________________________
A girlfriend and I were sitting in her living room last week- sipping our coffee, watching the babies and chatting when a conversation came up that I can't quite get out of my head. She was telling me about taking "mommy & me" swim classes with her 1 year old Daughter and I asked if she wore just a swimsuit or shorts over her suit and she looked at me like I was crazy and said "definitely shorts"...then she studied me for a minute and said, "you would be fine in a swimsuit though right? I never thought you'd have an issue with your body since you bounced back so quick after having Isla." As I found the words to explain why I would be wearing shorts over my swimsuit I realized that I had a confession to make....
As a Mother, I now think of these phases and freeze in pure fear. They make my head want to blow up. I know much of 'growing into your body' is having mixed feelings about yourself in your teenage years but the specific pressure we (society/marketing,etc) indirectly put on young girls to focus on their appearance and achieve 'perfection' makes my heart heavy. I know for me it wasn't until my Senior year in High School and my College years that I really felt secure with myself and my body image. I still have "my days" but I seek to find balance.
I recently read a blog that empowered me to write this post (along with the conversation above) and consider how I can change my thinking to empower Isla to feel secure with her beautiful self. The blog is HERE and I really hope you take a minute to read it. I expect Isla will feel insecure at times or have her share of feeling "fat" but I hope overall I can help her find a sense of pride and peace with her body.
She is beautiful. (So, so, so beautiful. I could rave all day at what a beautiful person she is).
I am beautiful......Isn't that twinge of perceived narcissistic guilt interesting. I am beautif....yep, felt it.
And it is in that odd guilt (that I know I shouldn't feel) that I will make a promise to her....to myself. I will practice telling myself "I'm beautiful" for Isla. When I look down and think I need to lose an inch off my thighs or smooth a wrinkle around my eyes I will remember the affect this could have on my beautiful Daughter. Not once do I want her feeling like she didn't earn that smile line or wrinkle. Not once do I want to hear her apologize for her height or that she's too "big" or "too skinny." I actually get the "skinny" one a lot and it's just as damaging. I know some of you are rolling your eyes but I must say.....I have heard myself more than once apologizing for someone else's insecurities that they think I'm "too thin." It's an odd thing we do to each other as women.
So along with my promise to Isla..... I hope you will consider telling yourself "you are beautiful" for your Daughter and for yourself. If every woman possessed this kind of self confidence I believe our Daughter's would travel through puberty less damaged by the notion of what they "should" look like and more empowered by the reality of what they do look like. I believe that we as women would begin to bring each other 'up' and in the process of loving ourselves raise a generation that does so as well.
Just say it .... "I am beautiful"
xoxo.
S
_______________________________
A girlfriend and I were sitting in her living room last week- sipping our coffee, watching the babies and chatting when a conversation came up that I can't quite get out of my head. She was telling me about taking "mommy & me" swim classes with her 1 year old Daughter and I asked if she wore just a swimsuit or shorts over her suit and she looked at me like I was crazy and said "definitely shorts"...then she studied me for a minute and said, "you would be fine in a swimsuit though right? I never thought you'd have an issue with your body since you bounced back so quick after having Isla." As I found the words to explain why I would be wearing shorts over my swimsuit I realized that I had a confession to make....
I can't remember a time when I didn't feel self conscious in a swim suit. EVER.
and that realization hit me like a brick wall. It terrified me. I am raising a girl and yet I have spent my entire teenage & adult life being self conscious in a swimsuit. I don't consider myself to be a self conscious woman and yet I think back on my teenage years and remember obsessing about my thighs when I was 14, being self conscious of my lovely hereditary cellulite at 15, spending age 16 trying to acquire a "model square" ....
ahhh yes....the coveted 'model square' that now screams "NEED NUTRIENTS!" and spending Age 17 chatting with my sister about purchasing Bloussant, the breast enhancing drug (Yes, this is real).
As a Mother, I now think of these phases and freeze in pure fear. They make my head want to blow up. I know much of 'growing into your body' is having mixed feelings about yourself in your teenage years but the specific pressure we (society/marketing,etc) indirectly put on young girls to focus on their appearance and achieve 'perfection' makes my heart heavy. I know for me it wasn't until my Senior year in High School and my College years that I really felt secure with myself and my body image. I still have "my days" but I seek to find balance.
I recently read a blog that empowered me to write this post (along with the conversation above) and consider how I can change my thinking to empower Isla to feel secure with her beautiful self. The blog is HERE and I really hope you take a minute to read it. I expect Isla will feel insecure at times or have her share of feeling "fat" but I hope overall I can help her find a sense of pride and peace with her body.
She is beautiful. (So, so, so beautiful. I could rave all day at what a beautiful person she is).
I am beautiful......Isn't that twinge of perceived narcissistic guilt interesting. I am beautif....yep, felt it.
And it is in that odd guilt (that I know I shouldn't feel) that I will make a promise to her....to myself. I will practice telling myself "I'm beautiful" for Isla. When I look down and think I need to lose an inch off my thighs or smooth a wrinkle around my eyes I will remember the affect this could have on my beautiful Daughter. Not once do I want her feeling like she didn't earn that smile line or wrinkle. Not once do I want to hear her apologize for her height or that she's too "big" or "too skinny." I actually get the "skinny" one a lot and it's just as damaging. I know some of you are rolling your eyes but I must say.....I have heard myself more than once apologizing for someone else's insecurities that they think I'm "too thin." It's an odd thing we do to each other as women.
So along with my promise to Isla..... I hope you will consider telling yourself "you are beautiful" for your Daughter and for yourself. If every woman possessed this kind of self confidence I believe our Daughter's would travel through puberty less damaged by the notion of what they "should" look like and more empowered by the reality of what they do look like. I believe that we as women would begin to bring each other 'up' and in the process of loving ourselves raise a generation that does so as well.
Just say it .... "I am beautiful"
xoxo.
S
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Breastfeeding: In all its glory.
Sorry if this is a bit disjointed- my brain's all over the place tonight but I thought it was still important to do this post. I started this a while ago and decided to finish it..... :)
_______________
Oh breastfeeding, you crazy-crazy character you.
Breastfeeding was the one thing I underestimated. I had this vision in my head that after I had the baby she'd be placed on my chest and within the first hour she'd want to eat and would breastfeed easily. That was not my reality. Isla didn't have an easy time of it and I fumbled in panic that something was wrong. It didn't help anything that every Nurse who came in my hospital room tried to fix Isla's issues (which weren't even issues looking back) a different way. I was so frustrated by the time I left the hospital. Within 48 hours my nips wanted to fall off and I had called the baby a 'jerk' (except that was the PC version, I'll let your mind fill in the blanks)....when your nips hurt that bad you lose your verbal filter. By day 3, Isla was starving and my milk had still not come in. I ended up supplementing with formula which thankfully filled her up but also made her little tummy upset and caused lots and lots of spit up and crying fits. By day 5 my milk was finally starting to come in. I was still fumbling and stressed out. I felt like she wasn't eating enough and she didn't have a schedule.
Bottom Line: I wasn't comfortable. I was reeling. I needed a confidence boost.
Thankfully Swedish has an amazing lactation service. I made an appointment and showed up looking like a hot mess. The baby was wailing, I was wearing 2nd day maternity clothes and I had milk spit up in my hair. The Lactation Consultant, Emily was so kind. She was straight and to the point- just how I roll. She got a full background story, weighed Isla, watched me feed her, made small adjustments and then weighed her again .... come to find out she was getting 2 ounces on one side- yay Isla! She told me what I needed to hear---
'I was doing the right thing and I should keep doing what I was doing, my baby was doing well'.
phew.
I went home and continued...even though I struggled I stuck with it. I remember looking at L during one of our mom dates and saying,
"Lace, I just hate it. I expected to love it but I hate it."
FINALLY, I said it. I said it outloud. pure relief. After having a natural labor and trying to do all the "right" things I felt the pressure to just fall in love with breastfeeding and it wasn't coming easy. L looked at me in the way good friends do and said...
"yes, your nips want to fall off and it hurts like a b*tch but they toughen up and believe me, you will love it."
I sighed deeply and hoped...for the love of god ...I hoped she was right. I even told Isla's Pediatrician during the first visit,
"I went through natural labor and I can barely handle breast feeding. I would rather go through natural labor AGAIN than breastfeed. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?" (picture a crazy, sleep deprived, first time mom with orange poo on her sweater ranting like this!...that was me)
Thankfully she laughed, encouraged and gave me the number for lactation services. Within 3 days of admitting to L that I hated breastfeeding I got into my groove. Isla and I finally had a bit of a routine and I was able to relax. A big part of my struggle was getting out of my own head. I had put so much pressure on myself to have it feel "natural" that when it came down to it, it felt like the most foreign thing in the world. For being a fairly easy-going mommy it was the one thing I constantly stressed about.
When Isla was two months she went through a time when she would pull and arch her back. I went back to Emily who hosts an open breastfeeding group at Swedish. The group is held in a large room and all mom's and babies are welcome. There's no pressure to feed your baby but most mom's weigh their baby on the way in, feed them and then weigh them again to see how much they're getting. The group was really helpful and helped me once again realize that it was just growing pains of Isla and I learning to work together. I just needed to trust that I was doing the right thing.
During the session one of the Mom's was holding her tiny newborn Daughter in front of her, staring at her. Emily asked if she planned on trying to feed her. The Mom nodded yes and Emily asked when she'd like to start and if she had any questions. The Mom looked up at the rest of us....a group of breastfeeding moms..... supporting peers and said...
"I'm scared of her."
If there was any unfamiliar tension in the room it instantly lifted. We all rolled in laughter, nodded, laughed some more.
This strong, competent woman was scared of her tiny newborn Daughter drenched in a pink blanket and headband. It was a crack up and it reminded me of my own familiar struggle. It's so important for Mamas to know that it's not always easy and we need the support of each other to get through the hard stuff.
Regardless of my own breastfeeding challenges, I still 100% believe it's the healthiest choice for Isla and for myself in post-partum. The benefits are irrefutable and it has helped build such an incredible bond between us. Our road may not have been flawless but I'm so glad I can look back and be proud that I stuck with it and that it worked for us. It's really a wonderful thing.
_______________
Oh breastfeeding, you crazy-crazy character you.
Breastfeeding was the one thing I underestimated. I had this vision in my head that after I had the baby she'd be placed on my chest and within the first hour she'd want to eat and would breastfeed easily. That was not my reality. Isla didn't have an easy time of it and I fumbled in panic that something was wrong. It didn't help anything that every Nurse who came in my hospital room tried to fix Isla's issues (which weren't even issues looking back) a different way. I was so frustrated by the time I left the hospital. Within 48 hours my nips wanted to fall off and I had called the baby a 'jerk' (except that was the PC version, I'll let your mind fill in the blanks)....when your nips hurt that bad you lose your verbal filter. By day 3, Isla was starving and my milk had still not come in. I ended up supplementing with formula which thankfully filled her up but also made her little tummy upset and caused lots and lots of spit up and crying fits. By day 5 my milk was finally starting to come in. I was still fumbling and stressed out. I felt like she wasn't eating enough and she didn't have a schedule.
Bottom Line: I wasn't comfortable. I was reeling. I needed a confidence boost.
Thankfully Swedish has an amazing lactation service. I made an appointment and showed up looking like a hot mess. The baby was wailing, I was wearing 2nd day maternity clothes and I had milk spit up in my hair. The Lactation Consultant, Emily was so kind. She was straight and to the point- just how I roll. She got a full background story, weighed Isla, watched me feed her, made small adjustments and then weighed her again .... come to find out she was getting 2 ounces on one side- yay Isla! She told me what I needed to hear---
'I was doing the right thing and I should keep doing what I was doing, my baby was doing well'.
phew.
I went home and continued...even though I struggled I stuck with it. I remember looking at L during one of our mom dates and saying,
"Lace, I just hate it. I expected to love it but I hate it."
FINALLY, I said it. I said it outloud. pure relief. After having a natural labor and trying to do all the "right" things I felt the pressure to just fall in love with breastfeeding and it wasn't coming easy. L looked at me in the way good friends do and said...
"yes, your nips want to fall off and it hurts like a b*tch but they toughen up and believe me, you will love it."
I sighed deeply and hoped...for the love of god ...I hoped she was right. I even told Isla's Pediatrician during the first visit,
"I went through natural labor and I can barely handle breast feeding. I would rather go through natural labor AGAIN than breastfeed. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?" (picture a crazy, sleep deprived, first time mom with orange poo on her sweater ranting like this!...that was me)
Thankfully she laughed, encouraged and gave me the number for lactation services. Within 3 days of admitting to L that I hated breastfeeding I got into my groove. Isla and I finally had a bit of a routine and I was able to relax. A big part of my struggle was getting out of my own head. I had put so much pressure on myself to have it feel "natural" that when it came down to it, it felt like the most foreign thing in the world. For being a fairly easy-going mommy it was the one thing I constantly stressed about.
When Isla was two months she went through a time when she would pull and arch her back. I went back to Emily who hosts an open breastfeeding group at Swedish. The group is held in a large room and all mom's and babies are welcome. There's no pressure to feed your baby but most mom's weigh their baby on the way in, feed them and then weigh them again to see how much they're getting. The group was really helpful and helped me once again realize that it was just growing pains of Isla and I learning to work together. I just needed to trust that I was doing the right thing.
During the session one of the Mom's was holding her tiny newborn Daughter in front of her, staring at her. Emily asked if she planned on trying to feed her. The Mom nodded yes and Emily asked when she'd like to start and if she had any questions. The Mom looked up at the rest of us....a group of breastfeeding moms..... supporting peers and said...
"I'm scared of her."
If there was any unfamiliar tension in the room it instantly lifted. We all rolled in laughter, nodded, laughed some more.
This strong, competent woman was scared of her tiny newborn Daughter drenched in a pink blanket and headband. It was a crack up and it reminded me of my own familiar struggle. It's so important for Mamas to know that it's not always easy and we need the support of each other to get through the hard stuff.
Regardless of my own breastfeeding challenges, I still 100% believe it's the healthiest choice for Isla and for myself in post-partum. The benefits are irrefutable and it has helped build such an incredible bond between us. Our road may not have been flawless but I'm so glad I can look back and be proud that I stuck with it and that it worked for us. It's really a wonderful thing.
Day 18: Mamas Across Miles
Seattle: (sorry, I can't pick! You can't make me! :)
Miami (or better yet, Mexico! :)
Saturday, May 18, 2013
4.months
Happy FOUR months my beautiful girl! Daddy and I are so blessed to share these moments with you.
xoxo.
Ps- no edit on her eyes, they are that blue. She can thank me later :)
Friday, May 17, 2013
#5: Genius Momvice
So I'm sure everyone is aware of these except for me.....regardless, they're my new favorite thing.
I love the Boon Grass bottle dryer. It's fabulous- looks good and is totally functional.
Target (my "go-to") started selling the accessory dryers for nips, bottle toppers,etc. They're so functional I cryed out in delight when I saw them. I have the white twig one and for those lacking counter space like me....this thing is awesome.
Bonus: It's $5!
I love the Boon Grass bottle dryer. It's fabulous- looks good and is totally functional.
Target (my "go-to") started selling the accessory dryers for nips, bottle toppers,etc. They're so functional I cryed out in delight when I saw them. I have the white twig one and for those lacking counter space like me....this thing is awesome.
Bonus: It's $5!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
so much
Hope you are liking the M.A.M photos coming across every day. I'm loving the project.
So sorry for a lack of true posts. I have so much to write about but have been stuck in Isla's teething adventure. I also have sat down on many occasions thinking I'm ready to write something....or have my ideas in order but I'm not inspired and when I'm not inspired....nothing good comes of it.
I will say I saw Michael Pollan last night with my Sis at Benaroya in Seattle. He was amazing. He got all the "wheels" oiled up and spinning in my head again. Sometimes I tell B that I feel a little more stupid since staying home with Isla. Talking to a baby all day doesn't exactly stretch my intellectual capacity. This is part of the reason I book up my week with FaceTime events, dates with girlfriends, watch the news and read mags. I hate feeling too isolated. Michael Pollan had so many interesting things to say about food, our relationship with it personally and in society. I loved his points about sitting down for a family meal and the art/act of cooking. Just know these are mulling away in my head- brewing up a lovely, thoughtful post. I love the "steeping" time I take before posting......organizing random thoughts into ideas and sentences......"webbing" them all out like we did in grade school, linking them to my personal experience, my childhood, my adulthood...the way I want to live.
So while I sit and chew on grainy, delicious thoughts I hope you enjoy the MAM photos. If you have any suggestions on teething, a good beach cruiser to put a kid seat on....or anything else it's imperative I know send it my way. Would love to hear.
xoxox.
S
Monday, May 13, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
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