Sorry I've been so MIA lately- Isla is not napping AT.ALL (again....*SOB*) and after being spoiled with 2 hour naps the ENTIRE week (last week) I'm having a hard time adjusting back to our napless normal.
I'm just purely exhausted by her energy.
Perfect example, yesterday she got up at 5:30 AM -- pure hell to be up with a toddler before the sun comes up....and I was certain she would nap if I tried to put her down around 1:30. Instead she tore off her diaper when she was in her crib so I got to clean up a disgusting mess. By 4pm she was making me nuts so I took her on a walk thinking she'd just walk out her energy and we'd go home to prep for bed-- she literally ran....RAN for 5 blocks. I had to speed walk to keep up with her--- just running and laughing--- literally BOUNDLESS energy.
I blame all of this on her Dad. (Obviously)
In all seriousness, yes...she's completely exhausting but she's also really fun and vocal and making all kinds of new connections. I love taking her outside because she's always doing something new, trying out a fun idea, chatting with me about a little discovery or just plain giddy with the joy of being let loose outside. I do count my blessings that exhaustion is my 'problem.' :)
Lately I've been lost in the realization of just how much Isla's grown in the last couple months. There are so many snippets in a day that get frozen in time because I realize that Isla was frozen in my mind as a toddler and she's quickly (and proudly) stomping towards being a little girl. Today at the playground she wanted so badly to keep up with one of the older little girls. She had to step between play toys to keep up and it was just a bit too long for her little legs-- every time I asked if she needed help she'd side-eye me like, "Mom, don't let her know I'm not big enough." It melted me in so many ways.
I love that she's still little enough to see every emotion on her face. It's like the harshness of the world hasn't yet touched her. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right. Today when she ran up to a new little friend at the playground with a huge smile that lit her entire face up-- she was literally beaming-- I couldn't help but bittersweetly hope that she has years with that kind of outward emotional confidence. I know growing up and figuring out the world is all part of it but the first time I see her cover her smile or hide any part of her sweet little emotions a little part of me with crumble because I know the beauty in those sweet true smiles and eyes that light up bright blue. I want more than anything to protect that innocence and yet, isn't that the challenge of being a parent?
In the words of a dear friend who just became a Mama, this girl has 'rearranged my heart.' Every day, every minute feels more tangible-- I can honestly say, I truly live in gratitude every day purely because of her. There is just nothing, nothing like being a parent.
xoxo.
S
PS- and....a VERY BIG CONGRATS to my Cousin and dear Friend, Sarah who just found out she's having a little MR! We can't wait to meet you baby boy! Bring on the blue--I can't wait to see these two as Parents. xoxo.
They found out in Maui- How's life Nebletts?! :)
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