Bridging the Gap

So the other night we had dinner with a longtime friend and his family. He is B's friend from grade school- they practically grew up together! He moved to Bali almost 7 years ago .... fell in love with the place (which I hear is not hard to do :) and also fell head over heels for his lovely wife :)....which equals them making Bali their permanent home. They had a Daughter last May and we have been eager to meet her! When he called to say his job was relocating them to Seattle until December we were thrilled!  

Let me just preface this by giving you the spoiler now...I humiliated myself within 30 seconds of seeing them. That's real.

We met at a local restaurant and mind you we had only met his wife once...two years ago before they were married. We walked into the restaurant and had hugs all around....I wasn't even thinking that in Indonesia they kiss on each cheek so when she kissed my cheek I thought "oh, that was sweet" but when she went for the other one and we ended up nose to nose in a very awkward 'stand - still' moment (those are the MOST AWKWARD) I wanted to bury my head. Fail S! She kindly covered for me and kissed my other cheek.

I should probably also mention that I'm terrible about understanding people with broken English. Terrible. B's really great (which I've determined is a perk from his work!) and usually helps me get by but when I'm on my own I'm hopeless. I'm always like, "I'm sorry, I missed that" or "sorry" and lean in with my ear closer ...like that's going to help! hopeless! We all chatted and I tried to chat with her but it was a bit of a strain solely because of the language barrier. At one point she was admiring Isla, looked at me and said "breastfeeding?" I nodded yes and she said, "that's the best for your baby if you can do it" and then she proceeded to tell me how her Daughter's immunity was built by breastfeeding and we talked about parenting and the differences in Bali. This was the second time in a week where a woman I didn't know well asked if I was breastfeeding Isla and it broke open the conversation. It became the "Harley Wave" for Mom's I meet.

Breastfeeding?
Slight nod
Knowing smile..... (and the conversation takes off)

In that one instant I loved this woman I barely understood.

I realized on this night, as I watched her swoon over my Daughter and hold her close, that no cultural barrier could make us not understand each other as Mothers. I didn't need words to see the love she showered on her Daughter or the devotion she held to our longtime friend (we are so happy he found such love!) Sometimes just watching someone is the best way to go. Eventually the words will come and hopefully a little sarcasm too--but for now, we will remain mamas and aunties to each others babies....and hopefully we pour a foundation to a 'dear friendship.' I would very much love that.