Today

Hi Friends!

Isla's a total destructive tornado today. I have no idea what got into her- it's like she woke up at 3am (oh wait, she did do that!) and said, "yes, I'm 13 months old today, time to destroy and conquer."

This morning after I had cleaned up at least 457 messes I locked her in the bathroom with me so I could get ready and she could ransack my bathroom drawers. At one point I looked down from blow drying my hair to see her bent half way over IN the drawer tossing things over her head. I was literally dodging flying faux-gold bangles and bottles of lotion. The days of relaxing as I get ready in the morning are most definitely over. I was day dreaming about when she was a baby and would sit in her bunny-chair outside the shower curtain. I'd peak out every now and then to see her sleeping or playing with a toy. Oh, I miss those days.

In fact...I'm convinced I'm in another round of 'postpartum longing' (I hesitate to call it 'depression' because that's definitely not what it is--this is more of a 'reminiscent longing').

Since Isla's turned the big 'one' we've gotten more and more questions about when the 'next one' is coming. We are 'Planners' and have had the discussion ourselves but a definite timeline has not yet been established. I go over scenarios in my head and then keep coming back to one fact....and I've been wondering today if this is something that all parents go through or just something I'm dealing with at the moment.

I miss my baby....but not the abstract 'baby' I missed before Isla was born or conceived...

I miss Isla as a baby.

 I am so reminiscent of her little baby face, the way she crossed her feet anytime she was being held or eating in her chair.... how she was the very first thing I saw in the morning when she was sleeping next to me in her co-sleeper.... the way she would sleep on my chest or snuggle up to me late at night. (That's one seriously long run on sentence but that's kind of how my brain has been processing this).

 For some reason, I'm having a hard time connecting the 'tiny baby Isla' with the Isla I'm with every day. I know this is in large part because she has started looking older--she has a mouthful of teeth and cruises everywhere (she almost ran over the weekend!). She gabs gibberish to herself, laughs hysterically at her own antics and plays independently. The 'big girl Isla' is super-fun (she literally makes me laugh a million times a day), super busy (I'm exhausted!) and super challenging (she definitely loves to test boundaries and explore!) I hope I don't sound crazy here...but for so long when I rocked her to sleep or held her to my chest I literally felt connected to her.....like our hearts were one. Over the past couple months I've lost that feeling and I'm not sure if it was the passing of nursing (she only requests nursing 3 times a day now) or because she's become more independent but I really didn't expect that feeling to go away as she grew. It is definitely one of the things I miss the very most.

I know all of these things are 'normal'--Isla's development is completely normal, my feelings about missing my baby are completely normal, even the fact that I don't know why I'm posting about this or how to wrap it up is well, completely normal (and so typical for me, right?! :)

I guess this is one of the ways I will know when we are 'ready' to give Isla a sibling...when the baby I imagine is no longer Isla as a baby (literally, Isla's twin self :) but becomes the 'abstract baby'. When I start to consider who that child will look like and what we will consider for names. I am excited for that day to come--but for now, I think I'll allow myself to miss my little baby I had the sweet fortune to spend the last year with.

And beyond that....I don't quite know what else to say about this. I guess, to beautiful memories and all that lies ahead (she looks like she knows where she's headed :)

xoxo. 

S

Review Updates

Hi Friends!

As I'm busy editing our pics from Miami and prep'ing posts--be prepared to get overloaded with pics and posts at the end of the week (!!!)-- I thought I would update two product reviews I previously posted.

The first is for our stroller, the Britax B Agile.

I am still absolutely 100.percent in.LOVE with this stroller but as many of you probably saw there was a repair made available last week because some poor people had partial finger amputations. Let me say, I am very sorry for those who lost part of their fingers. That's awful. That being said, I have no idea. Literally NO idea how they this happened. The hinge is completely covered and protected. I throw my stroller around and use it multiple times a day and have never had any issues. Thankfully the "fix" comes in two small plastic pieces that fit on either side of the "britax" hinge cover on the sides of the stroller. The instructions make install look incredibly complicated-- I could sum it up in a sentance--peel off the sticker back and slap that sucker on. period. As long as you have it the right direction- you're good to go.

My second update is regarding my post on cloth diapering.

I am 100% committed to cloth diapers (although I do use disposables when traveling on occasion). I love that Isla wears cloth--we have only had one diaper rash issue (and really that was more a 'mom fail' than anything else---first time parents!), I love that we're saving the planet along with saving lots of moo-lah and they're SO easy...seriously. SO easy! Up to this point we've had zero issues with our chosen diaper--the Bumgenius Freetime All-in-one Diaper.

Unfortunately, within the last month the velcro on my 'hook & loop' diapers has begun to 'fail.' Pieces of velcro started falling out which made them not stick and eventually fall off Isla. When I had to do a 3am diaper change because the velcro on the side broken open and Isla peed down her side and all over her bed I knew it was time to call CottonBabies.com where I purchased my diapers. Thankfully, Bumgenius has a one year warranty on their diapers. I sent all 12 of the diapers back with my proof of purchase and received 12 NEW 'snap' style diapers that are working PERFECTLY.

 If you are having ANY issues with your 'hook & loop' diapers I highly recommend that you do an exchange with bumgenius (which you can do through cotton babies if you purchased with them).

I did have an order I couldn't return because it was too old. I plan to repair the velcro tabs on those diapers with the 'refresh kit' from the cotton babies website. I hear this process is easy to do-- I'll follow up when those are completed!

I hope everyone's doing well and staying dry and warm in this crazy weather. I can't wait to post all of our warm weather pics and share the beautiful expressions of my newborn Niece, Olivia and Isla playing with her little friend, Grace. They were just the sweetest. Seeing our girls together just melted my heart. More on that later.

Have a great night.
xoxo.
S

Our Return

Hi Friends!

Isla and I are back from our Miami trip to meet Baby Olivia and spend time with our Florida girls. We got in last night and my Little Traveler did awesome--our first trip together was perfect!

Today we're fighting extreme East Coast jet lag (ug!), a case of the sneezes&sniffles and dealing with this bitter cold (21 degrees, seriously?!) Obviously Isla was less than thrilled with our return to frigid Seattle.....

(She's probably in her crib on Expedia booking her next Florida flight as we speak :)

I have a million pics to edit, upload and blog about including Baby Olivia's newborn session (so much newborn sweetness!), all the girls together (melts.my.heart) and my iPhone dump with videos.

So much to do....so little time.

It's an early bedtime for me tonight but I'll be back at it tomorrow and will hopefully get posts up this weekend.

Stay warm everyone :)

xoxo.
S

TGIF! Thoughts on toss pillows.

Hi Friends!

I'm blogging about pillows (i.e.: yes, Isla's finally asleep :)

I have issues making an executive decision when it comes to decorating. Usually hubby and I agree on decor so it's easier to have his opinion. When it came to throw pillows he vehemently hated the ones I picked up 'on the cheap' at Costco (and I may admit here that they weren't my favorite--but they were comfortable :) Part of my issue was that our couch isn't that stylish but we got it because it is literally the best-looking and most comfortable motorized reclining couch in the world (yes, we're 31 going on 65). We bought it when I was super-prego and just wanted to be reclining at all times. 

We literally have zero regrets. 

It has rocked our world. (It's also perfect for movies!)

So, on Christmas I made the rash decision to throw out the toss pillows Hubby hated so much. The only issue was that I had nothing to replace them with. The other night I was up with Isla at 3:15pm (my poor teething girl) and when I laid on the couch and had to 'gob' up a blanket for my "pillow" I decided it was time to make a decision. 

A decor decision on my own. 

terrifying.

So....L and I were at Ikea on Wednesday and I decided to buy these FABULOUS-FABULOUS black & white pillows (the B&W is actually a cover). They make me feel completely cutting-edge-modern (so hilarious, I know!) and I picked up the gold and burnt orange yesterday at World Market. I was trying to decide between the two but I decided that all three needed to stay (thanks for the advice L :)

 Then I saw that Hello Apparel is doing a "hello" B&W pillow so that obviously needs to happen to "even" out our new decor. (You know how I am about even numbers)

Love them -- and myself for finally pulling the 'decor-decision-making' trigger. 

Long overdue, S. 

Long overdue.

(oh, and let me just tell you....I need to start listening to B.Hubby when it comes to decorating MUCH LESS...I told him I wanted those couches in gray but he loved the tan. I relented because I was tired and pregnant (which looking back should have been why he releted--he's so the Glen Gulia (our new nickname when one of us is being a 'butt'--get the movie reference?!) any who..... my coveted slate gray became instantly the "in" color afterwards and would have rocked our living room. From now on, I'm in charge of the decor. #justsayin)

cute, huh?!!!!

xoxo. 

S

Tired times 100.

Hi Friends!

So yesterday was one of those days where you call your Husband and say, "Don't even think about asking me what's for dinner tonight--I'm not cooking. As soon as she goes to bed, we're drinking dinner."

Yep- that happened.

I even texted a Mama Friend and said, "I just said to Isla, I love you even when you are the most ANNOYING person in the entire world to me." (But it was in the nicest, most sugary voice I could muster so I don't think she cared).

Seriously though....teething is kicking my butt.

Isla got her first tooth on New Year's and is working on #5. The Dr. looked at her teeth today and said, "oh Wow, they're all coming in at once." That was right after Isla barfed up goldfish on her white velour one piece and was trying to gnaw on a plastic chair (that I'm sure was riddled with hand-foot & mouth).....ug. Needless to say, she's a teething-mess. A drooling, whiny, diarrhea-prone, chew-on-everything teething mess. The only saving grace has been to stay-busy during the day, attempt a nap (that she usually only stays down 30-45 minutes for....GAHHHH!) and drink by night.

Here is our 'yesterday' in pics:

We met our Wednesday gal-pals, Gemma and L at Ikea for some much needed toss pillows and a rug for Gemma's room (there was an unfortunate diarrhea accident with a visiting friend's large lab - eek!) Isla motored all over the place. She's most definitely mobile.

After we got home and she slept all of 35 minutes (that's real--I wanted to shoot myself). I decided we needed to go see the ducks and get out of the damn house. The ducks are her new most favorite thing. She loves nothing more than 'chasing' after them screeching. I'm sure she'd hug one and pat in on the back if she could.

 oh, and rocks are her most favorite too. If she could eat them she would. She gets very confused with the rocky concrete--she pats it and scratches it. She can't figure out why they're stuck to the ground :)

 Moments before this she ate bark. I almost let her chew on it because her teething is so bad---maybe a little bark would help? what's more natural? Don't worry- I took it from her (I'm sure it was covered in bird feces and ecoli) #MomfortheWin

She even attempts hills (which outsmarted her over the weekend)--I caught her plowing up this one to go check out that bronze statue at the top. She also loves the stairs- there's apparently nothing more fun that tripping/falling down stairs. It's a Mommy-Nightmare.

Look how good she's doing with walking though!

Yesterday, she also notably ate off a plate. This is relevant because usually she takes one edge and when she sees me coming she dumps the entire contents on the floor, laughs maniacally and then drops the plate on top. Nothing more fun that seeing Mom's 'mad-face' apparently.

She did great with her new plate from Citrus Lane and loved that pesto bow ties and peas (with tofu of course!)

At right about that time....I realized I have almost an hour & a half to go....yikes! and I sent the annoying text noted above. It was recommended that I upgrade from my usual cab to scotch to which I sent this reply.....

 a little Anchor Man anyone? It made me smile when frustration was running high!

Then Isla took a bath to which she predictably pooped in the tub literally one minute before I got her out. At about that time my hubby came home....which was SO NICE considering he usually doesn't make it before Isla's bedtime but after he heard two rants from me he knew it was 'one of those days.' He ended up doing her nighttime routine while I cleaned the tub. again. (I was going to take a picture to go with this ritual but I decided to spare you. Thank me later)

When our girl was finally asleep I told B dinner wasn't going to happen. I planned to drink my Bogle Red Blend and post up on the couch with Mad Men. I had called it a day. This was after I realized I realized the dishes, laundry, my emails and calls weren't going to get done--and as I stood in the kitchen I just slid down the cabinet to the floor and sat there--bleary eyed. I had been hit by the Isla-train.

I know you can relate.

So I got my wine and then B made me dinner and refilled my wine (multiple) times and we watched Mad Men and discussed why we never gave that show a chance.

It is fifties-delightful. Who knew?
(Pretty much everyone---I know, we're literally the LAST to watch it).

And with that....the Little Teething Machine is up. Time to go chase some poor ducks.

7pm-godspeed.

xoxo.
S

Poop.

Hi Friends.

First of all....watch this.

I know, I know....her laugh is adorable....but do you see that face at the end.

That's the face that leads to 'ultimate panic.'

That is her 'poop-in-the-tub' face. For some reason my kid poops in the tub every time --literally EVERY time she takes a bath. I considered not blogging about this because I'd hate for her future employers to be scouring the Internet to dig up her past and find out she was a serial-tub-pooper but this Mama is tired of cleaning up poo-water ... so..... Sorry Sis! You're getting outed.

I seriously don't know what to do. Even when she goes before she gets in .... she still poos--even if it's a teeny-tiny-turd....like she just thought about it and "poof" .... it appears!

Last night B.Daddy was giving her a bath and all of sudden I heard loud banging on the wall and a panicked, "Sannnndddiiii" scream. I walked in to find tub toys strewn on the wet tile, the rug soaked, B.Daddy holding a squirming baby and turds floating in the tub. He said, "....there were foam alphabet numbers and letters everywhere in there with her toys...I saw the fart bubbles and I just knew....this was the WORST CASE SCENARIO" ..... ahahahahahah!

It's along with this that I should mention that she has woken up after only 45 mins- 1 hour of napping because she blows out her diaper. Let me tell you---I need MORE than ONE HOUR (or less) a day to get non-Isla-friendly things done.

What do I do?

I talked to a fellow-Mama-girlfriend tonight and we decided feeding her earlier, a relaxing activity pre-bath or more time between eating and bath may do the trick.

Does anyone else have this issue?

Help a girl out!

On a side note- I have the cleanest tub in all the land. It gets cleaned literally every single day.

xoxo.
S

Growing up

Hi Friends-

I meant to follow up Isla's Cake Smash post with a birthday recap but wrote a letter to her instead. You can read it on our personal family blog: Here.

Tonight I thought I would write about Isla getting bigger..... growing up that is ...

(sniff, sniff....)

I never ever expected to be one of those sentimental Moms who misses her 'baby' but I have to admit I do. This was slammed in my face and punctuated ("Hello !!!!!!") two weeks ago when Isla lost her baby face (a byproduct, I suspect, of getting 4 teeth in a month) and cutting back on nursing.

I thought she was completely done...... just cold turkey- "see ya later Mom- been nice knowing ya and that boob" and let me just tell you, it sent me into a TAILSPIN.

An emotional, hormonally fueled tailspin I wasn't prepared for.

Thankfully she wasn't going 'cold turkey'.... just cutting back to 3 times a day and going through some serious teething issues....but it made me wake up to the fact that I may really struggle when she's decided milk in a sippy cup is in her new 'jam' and the boob is for babies (which she apparently is not). I am trying to prepare myself for that transition because I have a strong feeling we're headed in that direction quickly. I'm hoping that acknowledging the hormonal shift and feelings will ease the transition for my mind and body. It was a blessing in disguise that I had a little preview of what's to come.

In the midst of 'missing' the baby who is rapidly transforming into the toddling little girl I find moments so precious I log them into my memory bank and will myself to never forget them. I had one of those tonight and I cherished it because it was just so 'normal.' There wasn't a big event or holiday or celebration. We weren't with a bunch of people and I wasn't trying to 'make a memory' ... it just happened.

As I was getting Isla ready for bed I was carrying her on my hip and bustling around her room getting her crib ready (i.e.: arranging her stuffies :), stacking up our bedtime reads, preparing her bottle and as I walked into her closet I looked at her ..... she looked at me out of the corner of her eye and slyly twitched a half smile. There was a sparkle in her eye--a glint of mischief, of ease, of knowing.

It was in that 'look' she gave me that I knew my baby was growing up.
That 'look' was all hers.

It is one I will see the first day of Kindergarten, the night of Senior Prom as she walks out of our house...pausing to look over her shoulder (even just for a second) and the day of her wedding as she vows commitment to her lifetime partner. It is a look I locked in my memory because it was the first time.... the very first time I saw her as a girl, a teenager, a woman. I saw her life roll out in front of me....all of the moments, the milestones, the memories...one after another like a choppy black&white home movie.

As I write this by lamplight tears are falling from my cheeks for no other reason than I feel blessed. I get to be a part of her story......of all of those moments. I get to see that sly little smile and that twinkle--over and over and over again throughout her life and no matter how much I miss my tiny baby, my heart desires nothing more than to watch her grow and see who she becomes. I can't wait to meet that woman. She will be wonderful.

(time for a tissue)

xoxo.
S