Yesterday I wanted to write, wanted to ... but I was just completely paralyzed by the kind of day I had with my kid. She made me nuts....and not like the cute 'oh she's being so funny nuts' - No, straight up crazy. She was napless, violent (hitting/kicking/scratching and now biting (F!) and moody. The day as a whole was kind of like watching a big tsunami wave pick up speed, faster and faster and know it's going to crash into you and you'll feel like a shell of the person you know you are. Yep, that happened yesterday.
Needless to say, today I wasn't expecting much. This morning, I made a pact with myself to put on my 'big-girl-patient pants' and make it through the week until I can get help with my crazy child. Surprisingly enough we had a really nice day. Don't get me wrong, there were still struggles-- the running from me at Barnes and Noble, the 10-minute tantrum after our park date and the just general not listening to a damned word I say...but overall Isla was fun. She was super talkative and remembered certain things I said (that's where I knew she was listening but busy pushing boundaries- the joy of the TWOs right?!) She was fairly good in the morning during our errands, sang and chatted in her room during her 'quiet time and was really fun at the park until we had to leave and then I made it through rough pre-bedtime (napless again) hours that are usually a total circus.
I took advice from my two 'mama lifelines' that I called in total shambles yesterday. Both had great advice that I used and that essentially WORKED today! What a miracle!
I do think I was focusing on the negative behavior too much and getting really frustrated when 'time outs' didn't work or she didn't understand that she hurt me. It got to the point where I felt like she was controlling our day because it was so out of control and I didn't know what else to use to help her. Today, I really focused on redirecting and keeping my cool....and when I needed to, putting her in her crib for a minute while I collected myself. There was only one time where I really lost it and that's a HUGE improvement from yesterday. In my defense I've told her a million times not to stick her hand in her poo and during a particularly gross diaper change today she did and then had a handful of poop curds and it made me furious. I actually yelled "DAMMIT ISLA" and then explained how touching pee and poop makes us sick (again for like the 1000th time- aiyiyi).
I love that in 24 hours I have turned my completely negative/helpless feelings into positive/recharged ones. I am still tired (exhausted really) and my patience are low and I'm in need of much deserved 'alone time' but I'm also super proud that I kept up with her today. I was the Parent who guided her and helped her find positive ways to channel her naughty behavior (lets just call them the Twos). It felt good.
On a side note -- She made up a sweet little song about Santa during quiet-time-- "Santa-Ho-Ho-Ho, Santa, Santa, Ho-Ho-Ho" ;) and she told me she wanted to 'hug a noodle.' So that was equally as awesome.
xoxo.
S
No comments:
Post a Comment